I am u and u are me

I was thinking today about how we are all part of the same whole and I am u and u are me. There are a few ppl who just really irritate the crap out of me in my life - because they are weak, they are arrogant and they just ride me up the wrong way. One in particular is a person at work who constantly lies or tells half truths to cover their own behinds. This got me thinking on this concept about everyone ultimately being one and I tend to agree that the things we dont like in other people are just parts or ourselves that we have not yet learned to love. I am currently in a part of my life where I am learning to love and trust myself - a very difficult challenge since I am my harshest critic and I am my greatest judge. So in saying that - I am beginning to notice ppl that really annoy me, upset me and ppl like my daughter or my mother who frustrate me and I cannot deal with their emotional issues.

These are all in fact areas of my life, myself that I have not learned to love yet, I have not compeletey accepted. I mean, how can I truly be compassionate to anyone else if I do not show compassion and love for myself ...

I have been suffering for the last couple of years to come to terms with myself and my life, I have been in the depths of a painfull depression and through many years of blocking these emotions am beginning to reconnect with some of those emotions - this often makes me think of why I am going through all of this - why must I suffer - what is the purpose of all of this. In the times of my deepest darkest hour - I am consumed by all this pain and my mind is then filled with doubt and insecurity - I question my life and my purpose and i question myself. I read an interesting thing yesterday which makes alot of sense. Our pain is our teacher in our awakening - it teaches us compassion and love.

So through the pain we learn compassion.

I say through the pain because there really is no way to hide from it anymore and to ignore it anymore. It is there, it is sore .... and I must walk through this pain and awaken the compassion in me.