fucking bullshit

Life is a bunch of fucking bullshit .......

and that sums it all up in a nutshell .... I am so sick and tired of waiting and sick and tired of life not working out. Faith is a fucking joke really .... I have no money no job and no fucking purpose right now.

So what is the lesson in all this fucking shit ... because according to the so called "experts" everything has a lesson ... well right now the lesson screaming loud and clear is that LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!!!!! MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!

Gratitude ... ha ha ha ha !!!!! I am so grateful for my daughter, grateful for my family, grateful for having food, grateful for having a roof over my head, grateful for having pretty good health ...

I am not grateful for my life right now ... and to be honest if it was taken away tomorrow .... i could not give a dam .... ... I am tired of struggling to get to where I want to be, actually I am tired of struggle to breath, struggling to live, not having money, not being able to fulfill my so called fucking path ... what path ....

Where are my angels and my guides .... where is GOD!!! What the hell did I do so wrong in my life. Yes, we create our realities .... yes I get that .... but what did I do so badly to deserve such pain .... such loss.... such angst .... such anger ... its all a big fat fucking cosmic joke ....
I read these motivational books and positive thinking stuff and I feel sick to my stomach .... I want to VOMIT!!!!! SPEW all over the pages of this bullshit ... its easy to sit on a fucking perch when you life is amazing and write about all this positive shit ... its easy to sit there and think positive thoughts when you are living through a positive situation ... tell that shit to a mother who just lost a child, tell that to a person who just lost their house .... tell that positive shit to someone who lost everything .... ITS A BUNCH OF CRAP BULLSHIT!

So fuck it all, fuck all this shit ..... fuck fuck fuck .......